La vie érotique d’une chatte Parisienne

Kindred spirits….of a sort.

I pondered on why Emmanuelle disturbed my usual sangfroid.

Perhaps because I remember her as a school girl above me in years who seemed opposite to me (she a sexual wild child and I a carefree tomboy) but deep down we had the same restless spirit and a curiosity for the world and limitless horizons. Except she seemed to lack a moral centre - or so it seemed to me. She seemed from my limited observations as a hard bitten girl who was determined to get away with everything. She had a gift for using boys and even grown men. She seemed too cruel and perhaps even callous.

I think she disturbed me because she didn’t seem to have limits. That realisation was not a mark against her but a cold dose of reality that I had limits and for someone who professed to follow her curiosity wherever it led it was a little troubling. She boldly embodied a Darwinian spirit in terms of her self-interested desires being paramount. She had no time for weakness or self-pity. In an unfair patriarchal world she was determined to bend the world to her needs.

As much as repelled me I was also drawn to her. I admired her candid restless spirit and the way she used her feminine wiles (the means and not the ends). She hid her obvious intelligence well in a way not to threaten men (clever girl) and her graceful charm was disarming to all. 

We seemed to be kindred spirits but with different shades of gray. I know this because her eyes lit up in approval as we engaged each other with rapier wit and a ‘knowingness’ camouflaged in our delicate words around the smart but witless men around us.

Much later I realised the main difference between us was that I had love in my life in the form of my Ninja. She only ever loved herself, or so it seemed to me. As we went home I looked at my Ninja and realised he was more than my husband and best friend and muse but also a moral anchor. That was a comforting realisation.

Life has gotten very interesting indeed…

Anaïs x